Cross-Cultural Couples Counseling

Your cultural differences are creating conflict.

Any relationship that means anything is going to have moments of misunderstanding, pain, and disagreement.

What started as something loving and exciting sometimes turns sour, particularly for cross-cultural couples.

Different cultures and in the marginalized community…

Ali* and Richie* have been in a monogamous relationship for the past two years.

Recently, they noticed cultural differences were bringing huge rifts into their relationship.

Having been raised in different cultures, they had different expectations regarding family values, finances, and gender roles.

Although the spark was gone and despite their differences, they cared deeply for each other and wanted to strengthen their relationship.

* Names changed to protect client confidentiality.

Do we need therapy?

Any relationship that means anything is going to have moments of misunderstanding, pain, and disagreement.

There may be differences between you regarding ethnicity, gender, age, religion – you name it. But here’s a little secret – every couple is cross-cultural!

Everyone is born to a unique family with unique differences. Even when two people grow up in the same country, share the same ethnicity, or have the same gender, there will be differences from varying experiences.

Many of those differences come with expectations such as…

Gender roles – What does your gender mean in the relationship?

Money and finance – How should you spend or save money?

Work and home – Who should be the primary breadwinner or decision-maker?

Intimacy – What level of physical closeness do you expect?

… and so much more!

Differences can cause tension in the relationship.

As couples make important decisions together, differences can create tension and disagreements.

Many cross-cultural couples struggle with finding common ground.

Reconciling those differences helps couples grow closer without increased conflict.

Cross-Cultural Couples Therapy helps reduce tension and conflict.

Cross-Cultural Couples Therapy helps address many issues.

Cross-cultural differences can create tension, much like two ends of a ribbon.

Although cross-cultural couples therapy (or counseling) is much like other forms of couples therapy, it focuses on bridging the gap between your unique cultural qualities.

Some common examples of issues we might address in therapy are poor communication, differences in beliefs or values, religious differences, affairs, cheating, and commitment issues, family expectations, major life decisions (e.g., having children), debt and financial stress, sex, and intimacy, and frequent arguing or fighting.

Any or all these issues can affect a relationship. With therapy, you can learn to bring the two ends of the ribbon together.

How will psychotherapy help our relationship?

Every healthy relationship relies on solid communication, commitment, and trust with one another. Cross-Cultural Couples Therapy focuses on these three aspects as you begin to build a new culture together.

When couples lack proper communication skills, nothing seems to work quite right. Therapists can act as an outside observer for your communication style to provide insight and help disrupt unhelpful patterns.

Similarly, one or both partners may have difficulties with commitment – moving forward with major life decisions such as marriage, moving in together, having children, etc. This lack of commitment can create feelings of instability and anxiety in the relationship – which is why therapy is so helpful for couples.

Cross-Cultural Couples Therapy provides a space for the two of you to have difficult conversations, build an understanding of your unique culture, and empathize with one another.

Over time, we work together to get your relationship ribbon into something more uniform, shared, and new. As you learn to appreciate your diversity and build the relationship, the two of you get to begin your own unique relational culture.

What does couples counseling look like with me?

Together, we can get your relationship back on track.

Each session is entirely confidential and specifically designed to meet your goals as a couple. During the first meeting, I will ask you and your partner questions about your relational story to understand what might contribute to the problem. This meeting also gives us a chance to get to know each other a bit better and answer questions you might have before moving forward with therapy.

In that very first therapy session, I will provide helpful insights and initial recommendations as we put together an effective strategy for enhancing your relationship.

I integrate techniques from Emotion-Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, and Psychodynamic into my treatment. We will meet regularly for couples therapy, which is where the real action happens.

As you and your partner begin to engage in couples…

…you will gain a new appreciation for your cultural difference and learn how to build trust and empathy with one another.

You will discover new and more effective ways of communicating as a couple while breaking old habits and learning to work better together.

As a result, you will develop deeper feelings of intimacy and connection.

Don’t let cross-cultural differences keep you apart.

My goal is to build your ability to work well together, bond, and rediscover your relationship.

If your relationship is struggling, let me help. I provide cross-cultural couples therapy for people from all over California – people just like you – because I believe that every relationship deserves a second chance.

My doors are open to couples of all types – straight, LGBTQI, polyamorous, cohabitating; you name it!

You and your partner deserve a loving, lasting relationship, and cross-cultural couples therapy can help you get there.

Contact me today to learn more about my services or sign up for your first session.